Stupid
by Sorrowful
Summary: Allenbys thoughts as she thinks of what could have been with Domon.


**Title: Stupid**

**Format: Songfic**

I sit here now, alone and forgotten watching the television screen flicker. I come back to this same spot, every time much wiser; and much bitterer. This room is shadowed, the only light coming from the dim sunlight that is shinning on my tears that won't discontinue.  I won't lift up the shades that have consumed my heart. They have confined me to this eternal darkness.  No longer can I dream nor do I wish to. For I would see them together and I would left alone. It wasn't her fault, I know that. But he, he was guilty for misleading me. Yet, I feel as if I was responsible as well. I was so stupid to think that he could suddenly abandon her. After battling her, I can see why he would choose her. She was much wiser than I at that time.

**Night lift up the shades**

**Let in the brilliant light of morning**

**But steady me now**

**For I am weak and starving for mercy**

I have wandered, carrying the burden of figuring out when it suddenly hit me that I was chasing something that would never be mine. His affections were never mines to keep. For a time they were with me, and then he realized that his heart had been given away so long ago. Just the thought of it crushed mines. The shards that were left were much to fragile to piece together. And so I confined myself to this darkness, to this perpetual loneliness. But many years have passed since then and now that overwhelming pain has become dull and periodic. Sometimes I try to forget him--as he has forgotten me. It's all I can do besides sob until I disburse my anger on someone who tries to approach me. Such a familiar path that has become now, I realize.

**Sleep has left me alone**

**To carry the weight of unraveling**

**Where we went wrong**

**It's all I can do to hang on**

**To keep me from falling**

**Into old familiar shoes**

Damn him and his cruel games. He treated me like a little kid, a lost puppy. He knew he I was his puppet. They must have had fun holding the strings while I followed naively. Everyone around me saw his intentions, so why didn't they tell me? They did it because they preferred her, because she was better, because I was an outsider. It seems sad on how even after I realized that Domon didn't love me and that it would never work out; I still preserved hope. It's shattered and laying in the well that concocts my nightmares. Are you happy Domon? Are you satisfied that you made me suffer every moment of these long three years that have passed? I imagine you must be. 

**How stupid could I be?**

**A simpleton could see**

**That you're no good for me**

**But you're the only one I see**

I was a fool, I admitted to that long ago. After all, I was in love. All I could do was think of him and how he would never leave me. He said he understood me, but he must have lied. If he truly did, he wouldn't have left me alone. Domon, how many times did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me that there was nothing? That I shouldn't dare to hope about us. The time that we spent together, the time that we fought together; was it all a lie? It's all gone, all that joy is gone. I can no longer look upon my hands and imagine that you once held them. That they once forged into fists and fought against you.

**Love, has made me a fool**

**Set me on afire and watched as I floundered**

**Unable to speak**

**Except to cry out**

**And wait for your answer**

**But you come around in your time**

**Speaking of fabulous places**

**Create an oasis**

**That dries up as soon as you're gone**

**You leave me here burning**

**In this desert without you**

I stand up and imagine the sun outside. It has been long since I have seen the sun and it's warming rays, a fiery orb that hung in the sky that rose with us when we trained. I can only hear distant, incoherent statements from strangers outside. I wonder if they talk about me. Does anyone know how you've betrayed me?

**How stupid could I be?**

**A simpleton could see**

**That you're no good for me**

**But you're the only one I see******

Oh, Domon, despite my harsh words I still hold a heart in my grasp. I still do feel the same way about you, but you are with her now. I wont blame you, I should have known. My tears subside as your image fills the television and for once my vision focuses. You are with her, as you were always.

**Everything changes**

**Everything falls apart**

**I can't stand to feel myself losing control**

**The deeper the sense I've known**

_Welcome folks! It's the wedding of the century; we just had to sneak a peek!  Domon Kasshu, reigning Champion of the World Martial Arts Tournament, his bride and his mechanic Rain Mikamura have now just arrived. Wow who would have thought that there was something going on between them two? According to most rare press snatches they didn't get along very well. And now their getting married! I sure didn't see that one coming!_

**How stupid could I be?**

**A simpleton could see**

**That you're no good for me**

**But you're the only one I see**

Neither did I 

Authors Note: Well, I wrote this at one in the morning so you can't blame me for the result. The lyrics were from Sarah McLaclan's Stupid. R/R


End file.
